Beginning 2010.

My dog Edward is the sweetest most emotional little pup in the world. He loves me no matter what. Of course his new toy that cost me eight dollars and is practically indestructible and shaped like a cute little cat made out of canvas, along with the Mother Hubbard and marrow bone treats probably don't hurt either. I know that he can tell something's wrong because he's so much more affectionate than usual.

I wasn't one of those people that thought 2010 was a new start, a fresh start, a beginning to all those things you say your going to do and the new year is a good excuse to start. Alan and I went home to Oklahoma after a really long day at work. We dropped off Edward at Mom's and headed next door to Eric and Mel's for New Year's Eve festivities. There were massive amounts of food: smoked ham, pickles, cheeses and crackers, veggies, sausage and tons of dessert and drink choices. We all played Mexican train in teams, boys vs. girls, until 2 am. The next day was spent still in Norman with my parents and Uncle David. There was Rummikub and FanTan, lots of tea and the new Terminator movie that Unc had yet to see.

Saturday was spent with Alan's family in Purcell after spending Friday night there. I learned how to play MarioKart on the Wii and was horrible at it, but it was a ton of fun. I attended a crop at the LaFoe's church, which was a lot of fun and of course led by Vicki. I got all of my fall photos cropped including the U2 concert and Halloween. That evening we discovered that Alan had to work Sunday at 11:00am, so we left bright and early Sunday morning at 7:30. The next day I went back to work at TWG and right before I went to lunch I was called into a meeting and fired.

Ok, so the new year was pretty good until we got back to Bedford and then I was faced with job hunting and filing for unemployment.

The following Sunday on January 10th I went to visit Grandma Molly. I hadn't seen her since Christmas. I'd meant to go earlier in the week to give her a poinsetta I'd brought back from the LaFoe's church, but forgot to take it. Grandma had been under hospice care since Wednesday. Mom couldn't come down because she was sick and Aunt Emilee and Uncle Bill were in Venezuela. Grandma had been in 24 hour hospice care before and pulled out of it. To me this was somewhat of an overdue routine visit. I stayed with her for almost four hours. She was asleep on an oxygen machine the entire time so I visited with the 24 hour nurse. We discussed how often elderly folk wake up from something like this and how even though she hadn't eaten or drank anything since Wednesday, she might still wake up and recover ok. I told her how Grandma had been hanging on for the last several years, not being too responsive but still there a little bit, refusing to let go.

I went home with the intention of going back the next day to deliver the poinsetta I'd brought to Texas for her. 8:00 am Monday Mom called me and said that Grandma had passed away at 11:30 pm, just 4 hours after I'd been to visit.

Mom drove to Bedford that afternoon and took me over to B&E's until Wednesday. Bill and Emilee spent all Sunday night in an airport in Venezuela so they could get back to Fort Worth by Monday. My dad flew all the way up from Florida Wednesday evening and Uncle David flew in from NYC that afternoon. Papa and Samantha came down from Oklahoma that day too. Thursday was a private viewing in the morning by several of us that missed the one on Wednesday, then the public viewing and Ft. Worth funeral. Aunt Emilee's sisters made lunch for a house full of people that day and there was a big turnout for the service. It was a nice service. The casket spray of flowers were really pretty and Grandma looked much nicer than she had in several years. Thursday night and Friday morning all immediate family traveled up to Oklahoma for the burial service. My friends Sam and Nicole insisted on coming, which was wonderful of them. We had huge meals all day and Alan stayed with me until Saturday morning. I stayed in Norman for an entire week after that.

I can't help but wonder if Grandma heard me when I was visiting her the day before. I don't know if she heard me say it was ok if she let go and if that's why she died when she did, but I have a feeling she could hear me. Here are the last pictures we have of her from Christmas. Unfortunately I had to delete most of the group shots because they were very blury. The nurse wasn't very good at taking pictures and my eyes are closed in the one decent photo she took.











In other news, I knew I'd seen something with Kristen Stewart in it before. In the Land of Women. There's Meg Ryan, Adam Brody and an adorable bulldog. I watched it once on a fluke when I was at my mom's probably a couple of years ago before I moved down to Texas. It's not the best thing ever but it's quirky and kind of makes you think in the way that Anywhere but Here sort of did. Warped, romantic and artistic sort of messed up mind that I have, I bought it for five bucks when a Blockbuster was going out of business and a couple of weeks ago it was a rainy perfectly melancholy day, so I decided to watch it for the second time.

I keep trying to put myself in a box when really I couldn't fit in a box if you chopped me up and stuffed me in. Sorry, I've watched too much Dexter lately. But in all seriousness I'm just lost. I don't belong in Oklahoma and I certainly don't belong in Bedford, Texas, but then who does belong in Bedford? Some rich doctor or famous lawyer communting to Dallas every day? I keep thinking that maybe some day I'll write something great or I'll do something amazing and then I won't have to be in one of those 9-5 jobs in a cubical answering phones and wondering how many calls I'll be able to make before lunch. I love daisies and movies and walking on the beach with way too much sunscreen on because there's no way that I'll ever be tan and even trying is just an easy way to skin cancer and death. Of course I'm finally at peace with that fact and my left arm thinks it's great to turn light pale brown in the summertime while I'm driving with my windows down in the Camaro.

Moving on from self-discovery, more recently I've made some very yummy banana bread. With my new free time, I want to become recommited to becoming that great baker my Grandma Jean always said my Grandma Molly was. I've also been creating amigurumi, which is just a fancy word for cute little crocheted animals. Shortly after my unemployment I created my very own Etsy account. (I've included a link on my blog to this account.) There are lots of my cute creations for sale on that site.








Last Friday I had a paid photo shoot with Relayze Photography and on Tuesday I have one with On Purpose Productions. I'm pretty excited about the pictures for both and will post a few pictures here when I have them, but mostly they're only to be viewed on my Model Mayhem. In the meantime, here are a few from my Trains, Planes and Automobile shoot with the DFW Midcities Strobist Group:









Since January wasn't all that great, hopefully February will be better. It has been so far, and I am looking forward to Valentine's Day even though I'm not sure what we're doing. I do have all my Valentine's cards finished and ready to mail tomorrow. 2010, you'd better be in like a lion and out like a lamb...

Items for Sale!

So I'm now out of a job and am taking the opportunity to finally make another eBay listing and start up my Etsy account for all my cute little crochet items.

Here is just one item that's up for sell on my eBay account:


Please go to my eBay listing for more!

Also, as many of you know, I have been creating adorable little animals, scarves and hats. I haven't gotten a huge stockpile up yet, but am constantly making more. See the cute little turtle below:


Please go to my Etsy store for more cute items!

It's Been Too Long.

December 24th - Christmas Eve

Coming home from my aunt and uncle's in Ft. Worth seemed like a good idea at the time. It was snowing and there was a possiblity for ice, but it was only 4:30 and not yet dark. Uncle Bill scraped any ice or snow off my car, my sister and I got in, turned the heater on and hit the road. The first two corners I slipped slightly, but the neighborhood streets are always the worst and least traveled. Getting on the highway was ok at first. I just needed to get home, 30 minutes away, probably closer to an hour in this weather, and then I could let little Edward outside and fix dinner. The onramp to I-35W had other ideas.

Let me tell you Oklahoman's don't know how to drive in snow and ice and Texans are even worse. They don't seem to understand that if you stop on ice you are probably not going to get going again until it thaws. So I'm just about to the peak of the curving slanted incredulously long ramp when the car in front of me slows almost to a hault. I have a nagging feeling I shouldn't be in the left lane so I start to merge into the right. Now some of you might be thinking, 'what the hell was she doing driving that Camaro in the snow?' Well it's my daily driver, the big hunk of beautifully curved metal in my life and it's weight seemed like an advantage at the time. What I wasn't thinking about was that all the weight is in the front of the car. The trunk and back end isn't nearly as heavy. So when the car in front of my decided that stopping was a good idea right before I was able to change lanes, the back wheels didn't get any traction. In one of those, 'I can't believe this is happening to me' moments, Astrid is slowly inching sideways with any pressure put on the gas petal.

Looking in the rear view mirror, we're not the only ones that have spun out. After the small line of cars behind us have passed, a new tiny little black sports car is now parallel to us, sitting horizontal on the bridge about 50 yards back, a long line of angry Texan cars trying to edge around it. The man in the huge olive green H-5 Hummer ignores my sister's plea for help, rolls his window up and continues down the icy road, while a few people are out of their vehicles helping the tiny sports car. A young sandy haired man rolls the window down to his white pick-up insisting that he promises to continue down the bridge but then come back and help us. After a terrifying probably 10 minutes of sitting on the ice bridge trying to figure out what to do, here comes our new sandy haired friend walking up the curve back towards us. The little black sports car is actually moving, comes to a hault behind us and gets out to help push, knowing the now all to familiar feeling of not wanting to have to hike home. Meanwhile my sister has Papa on the phone talking possibilities of a tow truck and walking down the highway from the direction in which we came to recruit more men salivating at the possibility of helping two stranded 20-something girls stuck in a '71 muscle car.

We've got 3 or 4 people at this point, but Astrid's not going anywhere but further sideways and there's no way these guys can get a grip on the ground let alone push the car. A heavy set man in a huge four wheel drive truck stops just ahead and to the right of our party, hopping out and yanking a long yellow band out of the pick-up bed and tells my new sandy haired friend to crawl under my car and 'attach it to anything'. With quite a bit of effort the truck pulls Astrid straight cause his truck to swing sideways. He offers Sandy a ride back to his truck and they skid off sidways down the bridge and to relative safety. All our little helpers have skated back to their cars, while Samantha and I attemp to move forward. The Camaro only wants to move sideways again so we stay put, engine running, Papa on the phone trying to pin our location and how we really didn't get that far at all so he can call a tow truck. I have insisted I'll pay for it, I don't car that it's going to be expensive because Astrid has forgotten how to move in the correct direction. It seems like we've been stuck on the bridge for at least an hour (when really it's mostly likely only been 20-30 minutes) and I see flashing lights in my rearview. I tell Papa a tow truck has found us, to wait on calling a tow company and get out of the car.

In reality it's a fire truck, with four firemen crawling out and one asking me questions about whether we were in a wreck, why we were stopped on the bridge and if either of us or the car were hurt. I completely butcher the explaination of what has happened but eventually get the point across. He tells me they are going to push me down and around the curve and that even though the rest of the highway is icy, I should be ok if we can just get moving. He translates the plan of how to get this going and I put the car in neutral. In hind sight it was similar to a parents coaching a cat out from a tree: 'you got yourself up there now get yourself down' as he coaxes my turns and braking to get the car around the curve. He tells me that the other guys have let go and I'm now moving on my own. A few last words of guidence and he says that he can't walk me down any longer, we're on our own.

Papa, still on the phone, determines our location as we stop in front of an exit and discovers that a tow truck is not an option. I'm either going to have to drive home or they are going to have to come try and get us, leaving Astrid on the side of the road. This last idea is even worse than the first to me for a number of reasons. Firstly being that my poor car will surely get rammed by several cars in the night on the increasingly icy roads, and second how are my parents going to get to us? I tell him I'm going to try driving forward and that the last mile wasn't too bad as long as we take it slowly. All the way to 820 it's like we have the plague because no one will get near us. I can't be happier with this revelation because I won't have to stop, risking not getting moving again, and there are fewer idiot drivers to skid out and hit us if they keep 30 yards away in all directions.

In what turned out to be a two hour trip, we made it to the apartment, I didn't strangle my sister, and sat on the couch to take a valume so I could actually breath as the aniexty attack I'd been suppressing finally started settling in. I thawed out my colorless and purple finger tips in the kitchen sink, while Eddie was estatic I was back and Samantha unfroze her tootsies in the tub. Spaghetti for dinner and Battlestar Gallactica in the living room until we finally fell asleep for the night.

Shoes Anyone?!

I've got a couple of items up on eBay right now. Check them out: Shoe Sale!

U2 and Halloween

The stage was amazing for the 10/18/09 U2 concert in the Oklahoma Memorial Stadium at OU. Black Eyed Peas opened, which was alright, but U2 was definitely a must see. Mom and Papa bought Alan and I tickets for my 24th birthday. We were in the South end-zone, but I don't think there was a bad seat in the entire place! At one point Bono pulled a little boy up on stage, sang to him, ran around the entire circumference or the stage and then gave him the pair of glasses he was wearing! Talk about memorable. I hope that boy realizes what he got and keeps them as a treasure instead of selling them on eBay. That's amazing!!!





We were in bed by around 11. It was a great concert with the exception of the obnoxiously drunk blonde and her friends behind us. She wore a vest that was so full of feathers and fur it looked like she'd killed several small animals. Alan stopped her from purposely dumping beer all over Papa. Luckily they left early so we could at least enjoy the last several sets in peace. We still got some great photos and it's definitely something I'll remember for a long time to come.

On another note, I went to my grandma's farm last weekend. She turned 80 on the 23rd of October, but none of her friends believe she's anywhere near that old. Dad and Ruth had been there since Thursday and flew back to Orlando Sunday morning. We went to a fall fest at a little church there in town, had a big bonfire (of course), roasted hot dogs, and framed a few pictures for her living room.

We think she has 18 cats. Here are the two newest kittens along with one of the young ones:



And of course they love my car. Unfortunately I missed the picture with 6 under the car and one on the hood. Astrid's a total cat magnet.



Friday a bunch of people dressed up at work. I won't put them here in my blog (you can see my faceBook page if you're a friend), but it was definitely amusing. Afterwards I picked up Alan from his long stay/business trip in Portland and the next day on Halloween, we watched two weeks worth of Vampire Diaries, Grey's Anatomy, the Office and Castle while carving pumpkins we found at the cute little pumpkin patch in Bedford, TX.








Growing up, we always painted pumpkins with acrylic paint. It was a ton of fun, you can do a lot , and it's waayy safer. I don't think I actually carved a pumpkin until high school and that was on The Farm. Alan said we should buy one of those little pumpkin carving kits, another first for me. It was a lot of fun. I broke the littlest saw being a little too vigorous with my bat, but it all worked out in the end.

John Milton Photography.

You only get one:

Movies.

I started on that album last night for Vegas. It’s looking good so far, I’m pretty excited about it even though I’ve only finished 3.5 pages. The first page always needs to be stellar, otherwise it’s like a really good book with a boring cover: it might never be picked up. I’ve decided to put it in the adorable Make a Wish album, which is silver and covered in stars: along with the matching pages: and a particular color scheme:

More Netflix movies will come while I’m out of town this weekend. I watched Funny Face and Roman Holiday last night, although I must admit I didn’t finish the last 10 minutes of Roman Holiday because it was getting late, Alan called, I was tired and at a creative block on my scrapbooking. Plus it wasn’t nearly as good as Funny Face, which I could’ve watched again right then. So I should go online to update movies since I’ll get a couple more before Alan gets back into town. I’m really hoping I get my Kodak pictures tomorrow in the mail so that I can work on my pet album while I’m in Arkansas this weekend. Otherwise I guess I might lug down the stuff for Vegas…I’m not sure.

The week is flying by; it’s already Thursday. That’s good because it means one week of Alan being gone is almost up, but at the same time it’s going to be a long lonely drive to the farm this weekend. I wish he was able to go with me. We were planning a trip in November, but he doesn’t think he’ll be able to go then either. Oh well I guess.