Ashley Rachelle - Miss Porcelain Doll

In Remembrance: September 11

2011-09-11T11:23:00.001-05:00

Ten years ago I woke up thinking everything was normal. I was a sophomore at Norman High and getting ready to go to percussion sectionals for marching band. It was an early morning for me. So I was in the band building practicing some tune on the xylophone. We are going to band as normal and and that rush of people going to their classes, building to building, someone says a plane flew into a building in New York. None of us believed them at first, and the shock of everything that was to come, completely blanks out the face of that individual in my mind. When they start going into detail about a hijacking, terrorist attacks, no it's not a joke, the building is destroyed and we need to hurry to class. My body starts feeling numb and I'm no longer hearing anything around me.

We were on block schedule back then, A days and B days. It was an A day. Every teacher that could had a TV in their room with the news on. Some tried to conduct class, but most had discussions, or we sat in silence waiting for more news. Anger, hurt, confusion and sadness were all consuming and I had a million questions as I sat there in disbelief, class after class. By the time I got to my second class of the day the second tower had already been hit and we all knew this wasn't an accident. This was a bad dream, a nightmare, how could this be true...The second I got home, I threw down my bag and turned on my little 11 inch TV in my room, soaking in all the news, all the video, the sound bites. Over and over, repeatedly, trying to understand how and why.

In all the commotion, Channel 9 News played a video that hadn't been screened and I sat there, 15 years old, watching people jump out of the tower, the same kind of clip we'd be watching all day, but in this one you could hear them screaming, you could hear everything. I sat there. I cried and cried and didn't know what to do. I felt so completely helpless.

I only remember a few things from the rest of the week: the next day we had a timed writing in my English class. She said we couldn't stop class just because someone did something stupid. I can't remember ever being so angry at her ignorance and lack of sensitivity. My Spanish 2 class that normally didn't utter English was nothing but that, on the second day. The teacher pulled out a map of the world showing us where the terrorists were thought to be from. We discussed the events, our feelings, what this could all mean. I remember going to lunch with my friends Richard and Alex in Richard's little white Nissan. I have no idea where we went, I only remember being silent for what seemed like the entire week and people asking me if I was ok.

Papa was in Washington D.C. on usual business, and of course Uncle David was in New York on that day. We instantly heard Papa was fine, but it took five days to hear from Uncle David.

Earlier that year in my history class, the teacher had showed us newspapers of other events in history. Things she or her parents had collected and saved over the years; the day Kennedy was shot for example. How important it was to not forget the big events. I kept every newspaper with a picture of the twin towers I could find. I still have them, stowed away in a little red box, safe and sound. Any time they see the light of day, it brings a sadness and an anger to my heart.

I'm not as angry about it anymore, but the sadness seems to consume me at the mention of it, especially on the anniversary every year. I'll never forget that day as long as I live. My friends going off to fight as soon as they could, getting out of high school early if they were 18 to hurry and get over there. People say that my generation is full of naive, irresponsible people, but my friends were and still are the ones over there fighting for everything we believe in. It's our turn, and we haven't let the ball drop yet.

Taken from the Empire State Building

Taken from Staten Island Spring 2001

Green Grass Photography and Photo Contests

2011-08-09T18:21:00.008-05:00

My photoshoot out at Lake Hefner with John Cooper of Green Grass Photography was a blast. We shot a bunch of photos with my Camaro, Astrid. I always love pictures of my car, but it's hard to get something new. We definitely achieved it though with a simple outfit and switching to black and white. I was incredibly pleased with those results. It always helps to have someone that loves the car!

We just kept it nice and simple for our first photoshoot together. We stuck to two outfits. Of course changing clothes in a sportscar in triple digit heat is no easy task...We headed over to the shore for a couple of classic pinup shots and just some good fun bikini shots. I was pretty impressed with both of us as we got the following picture down on the very first try!

I'm still expanding my portfolio, since I haven't really done much since the move back from Texas. I've entered a couple of contests lately. One is for Retro Lovely's Star Maker Supreme. So far I've had 5 photos be accepted into the contest, and I've still got a chance to submit 4 more photos before the cutoff. The other contest is to be a cover model for GlamModelz Magazine. You can actually vote for me here. I was in the lead for a really long time, but now I've fallen to second place, so you should go vote!

One Jumbled Week, Marley and Me Style

2011-08-01T22:34:00.007-05:00

Slow times at the Salon. Got discouraged. Ate dinner with the new neighbors. Stayed home watching TV, unpacking and doing chores. Really like my neighbors upstairs. Did a photoshoot at Lake Hefner with Cooper of GreenGrass Photography. Had a blast doing said photoshoot. Tried booking photoshoots in Tulsa. Worried about how I'm going to pay my bills. Missed Nate. Went to the gym by myself. Found out some surprising information. Realized I was actually ok with that information. Watched too much Grey's Anatomy. Missed Nate some more. Got an apology swirl. Had a second swirl just because I could. Found out more truths. Scrapbooked with my best friend Sabrina. Ate more food than we actually scrapbooked. Was surprised to see Nate come home early. Was even more surprised to know where he went. Worried about money more. Got a photo from the shoot. Loved it. Worried about my parents and their money. Edited playlists. Went to the gym with Nate. Watched documentary on where our food comes from. Drank wine. Listened to old playlists. A lot. Made plans for the future. Played Words with Friends. Played with Eddie. Found out crazy ex-boyfriend still isn't done being crazy. Thought about it and don't give a damn. Made more playlists. Did bridal hair. Did bridal hair again. Loved it again. Talked about how I love my job. Unpacked boxes. Bought groceries. Ate said groceries. Waited on photos from shoot. Took Edward outside. Played with Edward. Ignored money problems and had good cheap fun at the lake with awesome people. Went tubeing at the lake. Woke up ridiculously sore two days later from tubing at the lake. Went to my second summer scrapbook retreat of Vicki's. Worked on Grandma's memorial album. Caught up with old friends. Had an amazing money day at the salon. Waited for more photos. Spoke with more photographers. Thought Edward was crazy for wanting to lay in the hot hot sun. Let him anyway. Missed Nate more. Did laundry. Almost survived another deployment. Worked on two lists of fifty. Watched Easy A. Thought it was pretty dumb but liked the end. Realized maybe I don't want a fairytale but want a cheese 80's ending. Listened to more playlists. Snuggled with little Eddie. Agreed to take new neighbor to the airport at 530 am. Got pictures from the lake. Posted said pictures. Felt really lucky. Played Words with Friends. Started a playlist for my 80's ending ;)

The Social Event of July

2011-07-20T13:50:00.004-05:00

Well I attended the Sparkdaddy.net meet and great last night over at the Speakeasy in OKC. It was definitely a good time. There were so many photographers I hadn't met and several I'd heard of/talked to, but hadn't seen face to face. We all exchanged business cards with our FB and Model Mayhem accounts. I think Chuck from ePhoto and I are FINALLY going to get our butts in gear and collaborate. I'm really stoked about that. I've admired his work for a long time now, and when I walked in the door and he insisted we talk before I leave, I got pretty excited.

It's an odd feeling having people know your name without knowing theirs. I think sometimes it's easier for the photographers. They go home with a handfull of cards with our faces and names, but we as models go home with cards saying their names and have other people's faces. So over the next days when you're trying to book shoots from the business cards, there's always that mystery of, 'was that the really cool one with lots of ideas, or was that the sort of creepy dude that asked what lingerie I own?' With my experience so far, it always works out, but it's definitely an interesting situation.

I remember going to a few mixers while I was down in Texas, booking a shoot from a name on a postcard after the fact, showing up and being relieved that I was wrong about who I thought it was actually with. It's interesting that some photographers don't have a picture of themselves anywhere on their sites. As a model, especially if you haven't met before, it's always nice to be able to match a face to a name BEFORE showing up at a shoot. I know it always relaxes me a little bit.

Anyway, it was cool having a few beers and eating french fries with new and old models, fresh and also experienced photographers. Lee Baxley, from Tulsa, and I finally met. We've been trying to schedule something for a while. Now that I'm finally out of hair school and in a salon, my schedule is super flexible and will allow me to make that trip up to Tulsa for a couple days. I'm planning a trip up sometime the second week of August, so all you Tulsa photogs get ready!

As one final note, if you weren't able to get out to the meet and great, beer social, you definitely need to next time! AND all those models and photogs and not a single picture? What were we thinking?

It's Been Forever.

2010-12-06T21:02:00.003-06:00

A lot has happened in 2010. A lot of bad and a lot of good, but it all has just been a growing learning experience. In the spring I moved back to Norman after almost two full years of living in the DFW area. Since I still wasn't finding a job of interest (gotta love that economy!), I started hair school at Duncan Brothers at the beginning of August. I'm absolutely loving it. I've met some really awesome girls in such a short period of time. I've also had the pleasure of doing several photoshoots with Bill Richards of Okie Studios, as well as several other photographers. I've just started a page on the new social network for models, photographers, and artists of other types, SparkDaddy. Check me out! Anyway back to watching Castle and searching for casting calls...

Music Makes You Smile.

2010-03-02T11:58:00.008-06:00

I've discovered Pandora. I knew it existed and I'd heard other people listen to it at work or wherever, but I normally just create my own lists through Project Playlist. However on my third try I found a "station" that will definitely work. I typed in Human by the Killers and it created "Human Radio," which I find rather amusing and rather accurate. It plays all sorts of songs I love in a playlist that sounds like something I created without all that work and it never runs out either!

I keep starting blog posts and not finishing them until a day or two later. When that happens I just don't even feel like finishing them and just push that "publish post" button. Yesterday I didn't finish the one from Sunday and I guess at some point today I'll get in there add my photos and push that button. I keep getting too preoccupied to post the photos that go with my posts. Not that you care and not that I know of anyone that actually reads this on a regular basis. If anyone does though, I guess you're kind of like my free therapist that doesn't have to hear any anger or gripping that never makes it into these.

Speaking of, yesterday was kind of rough. I was supposed to call the insurance people to see if I was covered again so I can go get the prescriptions I've not yet been able to pick up. I was going to go to the health food store, post office and finish some stuff to ship off to The Art Center in New York. Now I need to do that stuff today, which isn't a big deal except I really just want to go out with people today but I think everyone's busy and I just saw Patrick yesterday.

Seeing him was the good part of my day. I don't think I've laughed so much in a long time. It was fun and happy and good. We went to this yummy little Italian place that I can't remember the name of over in Dallas. He'd just been laying in bed all morning (like I've done today) and I told him that I didn't know of anywhere specific to go between there and here so I just went over to his place and then he picked a place to go. He lives in these swanky little apartments with his brother. They're really cool. Almost kind of makes me want to live in Dallas. They were right in the middle and really close to SMU. I don't know but lately I've really felt like I want to go back to school. I'm not completely sure what I'd go for, but I kind of want to go get my masters. I'd always said I wanted to and wasn't sure when I would.

Anyway we had pesto pasta with yummy sourdough bread. They had these big wooden tables there with cute little pots of mint and rosemary on every table with little lamps and bottle of oil and balsamic vinegar. There was so much light and it was just this place that made you carefree and able to actually breath. They had this amazing stove system where you could the burners would be super hot when you put a pan in them to cook, but the moment you took the pan off you could touch the burner and wouldn't get burned. I'm not sure how that works, but it was pretty neat.

We were originally going to just go get coffee and while I've not had a cup of coffee in a while and have been starting to crave one, neither of us had eaten and I thought it'd be better to go to lunch, so that's what we did. I remembered to take my camera and still no pictures. I'm a bad little scrapbooker. I don't know what my deal is because I used to take photos of everything and now it's like my camera just takes up space and I have all these memories that slowly fade away into oblivion over time because I forget to pull that camera out of my purse.

We just talked about everything. Siblings, sex, food, and just general hanging out talk. I've not smiled that much in a long time. We didn't really get to be friends until a couple months before we both left TWG, but I'm glad we did regardless of whether we saw each other much at work. He's the sort of person you can just talk to and speak your mind. He's got great advice and he doesn't judge you. It took a while but I finally found someone I can say anything to and smile the whole time down here in Dallas. Don't get me wrong, Texas still rubs me the wrong way, but it's not as bad knowing I have a good friend close by.

The apartments are set up similar to that hotel we stayed at on the band and orchestra trip to San Diego in high school where the pool is there in the middle but in this case the apts. only stacked up two stories tall. They even had the palm trees and a hot tub. It was raining while I was there, but that hot tub and I have a date. I love hot tubs and having a beer and just relaxing in the hot tub letting it release all that tension in my upper back sounds like a good way to spend some of my time.

I wound up leaving a little after five and was afraid I'd get stuck in traffic but it really was't too bad once I got onto I-35. Not like when I was driving there around one and it was raining and people in Texas, and their driving, in the rain, geeze. There was a semi-truck stalled in the middle lane on 183 and you didn't know until you were right up on it. Traffic was moving so slow but as soon as someone in the other lanes noticed you or someone else needed over they'd speed up so you couldn't! Not only would they not let you over, but they'd speed up and be a complete ass about it. That's my biggest complaint, Texas drivers.

I don't know what happened, but I got home and was just sad. Just quietly cry to yourself sad. I don't know if it was because my visit was over or because it made me miss those people I had in what seems like a past life, or the fact that ever since I was fired I've gotten these plans, took a deep breath and made a decision that things were going to be fine and that I could make my circumstances work, and then something just throws that wrench in and when I was trying to make a bad situation better that wrench makes it impossible to even settle. I try to just say oh well and move on, but sometimes it's hard. Sometimes you have to just let yourself cry a little, play sudoku and talk to two people simultaneously through text message to figure out that the saying you're not alone really is true and that the two people you're talking to actually have been right in the same shoes you're wearing and for hours of doing these things, you can finally turn off your light and fall asleep knowing that tomorrow is a new day.

And very appropriately 'Float On' by Modest Mouse just popped up on my playlist and I smile. And just to top it off, this is me when I'm 89 years old.

Thoughts.

2010-02-28T15:19:00.012-06:00

I always sit here trying to get the beginning just right. It's like everything else in my life, if you can just get me started, it's normally hard to get me to stop. It's that getting started that always trips me up or postpones the event from beginning. I woke up changed the wax melts in my Scentsy burners to lilacs and violets and hopped in the shower. I wasn't in the best mood this morning, afraid I'd waste a day just wondering what to do with my life instead of actually doing it, but once I got out of the shower and smelled the flowery aroma floating throughout my apartment I knew that today would be different. Today would be a wonderful start to my week and I could toss out any negativity that came about my life from last week.

Yesterday I went to a Creative Memories Premier Event. I'd gone to one last August, so when I got the email from Vicki about another one coming up I definitely wanted to go. You get to hear people's stories about why they became consultants for Creative Memories. While that might sound lame or boring, it's actually pretty cool because you get to hear a snippet of their life story, what motivates and challenges them. The even always includes tips from a photographer (sometimes several) about taking better pictures. I was reminded of some of the basics like zooming in and using natural light to produce more meaningful pictures. I also learned what ISO means and how it can help adjust lighting so that you don't have to use your flash. I'm pretty excited about refocusing me photography (the little that I do) on those three things to display my memories more beautifully.

The convention always gives you a goody bag for registering and coming to the event. Once I got home I curled up on my bed, dumped out my bad and set about organizing my new items and browsing through the newest catalog of supplies. One thing lead to another and all of a sudden I was on the floor digging through old photo boxes finding photos I'd completely forgotten about that haven't made it into an album yet.

Even since Grandma Molly passed away in January, I've been wanting to do something special with the pictures I have of her from Christmas. I know she doesn't look great in them, I know that's probably not the best image to remember her by, but they're very dear and close to my heart. Well last night going through all those photos (which are organized by date and event by the way!) I figured out what to do and started pulling out and labeling an entirely new pile of photos. This morning after my shower and with the scent of new spring in the air I set about writing a little note to go in all the envelopes I addressed last night:

I know I haven’t seen most of you since the funeral in January. As many or most of you know I lost my job just a week before Grandma passed away. I’ve done a lot of thinking, meditating and self-discovery during that time. I’ve also been trying to get a little more caught up on all of my scrapbooking. That included going to a convention with Alan’s mom just yesterday. As usual I got home from the event and felt the need to dig through my boxes of pictures that have yet to be scrapbooked. That’s when I got my next idea: a scrapbook of photos that highlight Grandma Molly. Now I’ve got quite a few, some have already popped up in other albums of mine, but I want this to be anything from family Christmases to birthdays, to just sitting around the house. Here’s where I need you all. If you have any pictures of her that you have copies of, if you don’t mind sending them to me either by mail or email (my email is porcelain3doll@gmail.com), I could really make this album more complete. If you only have originals and don’t mind me borrowing them, I can make a copy and return the original to you. Please just let me know if it’s a photo I can keep or something I need to return. The album I’ll be making is a 12x12, so every picture should be able to fit just fine. Please help me do something meaningful that will help us all remember her more vividly.

Love,
Ashley

I sent these out to my parents, my remaining grandma, aunts, uncles and cousins. Well, I guess I should say, I'll be sending them out tomorrow once I buy another book of stamps. It's a new project that will put a lot of meaningful memories into a book lots of us can enjoy instead of being stuffed and hidden in a box where they're easily forgotten. I didn't put any kind of deadline on them because I don't want to rush anyone and frankly I have plenty of projects I'm trying to finish up before I need to start another, but it's nice that I have a plan for some of the clutter that needs to be kept and not tossed. I hope I get more photos and responses, maybe even a couple of stories to put in the album from other family members. There are a lot of things I didn't do while she was still alive and I was in college. Instead of piling on regret, I'm going to take all of that energy and turn it into something beautiful. I think it'll be pretty great.

In the meantime I've been crocheting babies as my Grandma called them, meaning stuffed animals. I guess she called them that because I always had at least one with me when I traveled and always a mountain to put on my bed when I made it in the morning. I still have 5 trash sacks full stored away under my bed until I have a little girl of my own when I can cover ceiling kissed shelves with them for her to look at (and maybe one or two to play with as well). While I was informed that I cannot sell anything I make from a bought pattern (who knew?) I've still continued to make them because they're incredibly adorable and I've gotten some great ideas to create some of my own.

Plus they make great gifts whether they're original or not because they are handmade. I'll start making my scarves and hats again soon so that I can have a huge stock for the cold weather. Those I can actually put in my Etsy store, so it'll be exciting to share my artwork with the world. I've also almost finshed my first "nap blanket," which is my favorite size to lay on the couch with or curl up under with a book and cup of tea. I haven't decided if I'll keep it or give it away to a family member. I'm probably leaning towards the second since I can always make myself another one.

While exploring around the Etsy world I found Steampunk Rings and descovered a name for a genre of things that I've always loved.

While I absolutely adored a particular watch and a bizarre little ring from them, I discovered all sorts of other neat little things.

I just love these little dog treat jars. You can get them from WhiteWashSundries with any breed inscripted and it's first initial on the top of the jar too! I really want to get one for my little Edward.

Of course I'm a total bag girl *which is the younger more hip version of a bag lady* and adore all sorts of totes and purses. I found several that I really adore and love the fact that if and when I am finally able to purchase one or two I'm supporting someones love and dream of being creative and doing what you love for a living.

It's Been Too Long.

2010-01-03T16:07:00.004-06:00

December 24th - Christmas Eve

Coming home from my aunt and uncle's in Ft. Worth seemed like a good idea at the time. It was snowing and there was a possiblity for ice, but it was only 4:30 and not yet dark. Uncle Bill scraped any ice or snow off my car, my sister and I got in, turned the heater on and hit the road. The first two corners I slipped slightly, but the neighborhood streets are always the worst and least traveled. Getting on the highway was ok at first. I just needed to get home, 30 minutes away, probably closer to an hour in this weather, and then I could let little Edward outside and fix dinner. The onramp to I-35W had other ideas.

Let me tell you Oklahoman's don't know how to drive in snow and ice and Texans are even worse. They don't seem to understand that if you stop on ice you are probably not going to get going again until it thaws. So I'm just about to the peak of the curving slanted incredulously long ramp when the car in front of me slows almost to a hault. I have a nagging feeling I shouldn't be in the left lane so I start to merge into the right. Now some of you might be thinking, 'what the hell was she doing driving that Camaro in the snow?' Well it's my daily driver, the big hunk of beautifully curved metal in my life and it's weight seemed like an advantage at the time. What I wasn't thinking about was that all the weight is in the front of the car. The trunk and back end isn't nearly as heavy. So when the car in front of my decided that stopping was a good idea right before I was able to change lanes, the back wheels didn't get any traction. In one of those, 'I can't believe this is happening to me' moments, Astrid is slowly inching sideways with any pressure put on the gas petal.

Looking in the rear view mirror, we're not the only ones that have spun out. After the small line of cars behind us have passed, a new tiny little black sports car is now parallel to us, sitting horizontal on the bridge about 50 yards back, a long line of angry Texan cars trying to edge around it. The man in the huge olive green H-5 Hummer ignores my sister's plea for help, rolls his window up and continues down the icy road, while a few people are out of their vehicles helping the tiny sports car. A young sandy haired man rolls the window down to his white pick-up insisting that he promises to continue down the bridge but then come back and help us. After a terrifying probably 10 minutes of sitting on the ice bridge trying to figure out what to do, here comes our new sandy haired friend walking up the curve back towards us. The little black sports car is actually moving, comes to a hault behind us and gets out to help push, knowing the now all to familiar feeling of not wanting to have to hike home. Meanwhile my sister has Papa on the phone talking possibilities of a tow truck and walking down the highway from the direction in which we came to recruit more men salivating at the possibility of helping two stranded 20-something girls stuck in a '71 muscle car.

We've got 3 or 4 people at this point, but Astrid's not going anywhere but further sideways and there's no way these guys can get a grip on the ground let alone push the car. A heavy set man in a huge four wheel drive truck stops just ahead and to the right of our party, hopping out and yanking a long yellow band out of the pick-up bed and tells my new sandy haired friend to crawl under my car and 'attach it to anything'. With quite a bit of effort the truck pulls Astrid straight cause his truck to swing sideways. He offers Sandy a ride back to his truck and they skid off sidways down the bridge and to relative safety. All our little helpers have skated back to their cars, while Samantha and I attemp to move forward. The Camaro only wants to move sideways again so we stay put, engine running, Papa on the phone trying to pin our location and how we really didn't get that far at all so he can call a tow truck. I have insisted I'll pay for it, I don't car that it's going to be expensive because Astrid has forgotten how to move in the correct direction. It seems like we've been stuck on the bridge for at least an hour (when really it's mostly likely only been 20-30 minutes) and I see flashing lights in my rearview. I tell Papa a tow truck has found us, to wait on calling a tow company and get out of the car.

In reality it's a fire truck, with four firemen crawling out and one asking me questions about whether we were in a wreck, why we were stopped on the bridge and if either of us or the car were hurt. I completely butcher the explaination of what has happened but eventually get the point across. He tells me they are going to push me down and around the curve and that even though the rest of the highway is icy, I should be ok if we can just get moving. He translates the plan of how to get this going and I put the car in neutral. In hind sight it was similar to a parents coaching a cat out from a tree: 'you got yourself up there now get yourself down' as he coaxes my turns and braking to get the car around the curve. He tells me that the other guys have let go and I'm now moving on my own. A few last words of guidence and he says that he can't walk me down any longer, we're on our own.

Papa, still on the phone, determines our location as we stop in front of an exit and discovers that a tow truck is not an option. I'm either going to have to drive home or they are going to have to come try and get us, leaving Astrid on the side of the road. This last idea is even worse than the first to me for a number of reasons. Firstly being that my poor car will surely get rammed by several cars in the night on the increasingly icy roads, and second how are my parents going to get to us? I tell him I'm going to try driving forward and that the last mile wasn't too bad as long as we take it slowly. All the way to 820 it's like we have the plague because no one will get near us. I can't be happier with this revelation because I won't have to stop, risking not getting moving again, and there are fewer idiot drivers to skid out and hit us if they keep 30 yards away in all directions.

In what turned out to be a two hour trip, we made it to the apartment, I didn't strangle my sister, and sat on the couch to take a valume so I could actually breath as the aniexty attack I'd been suppressing finally started settling in. I thawed out my colorless and purple finger tips in the kitchen sink, while Eddie was estatic I was back and Samantha unfroze her tootsies in the tub. Spaghetti for dinner and Battlestar Gallactica in the living room until we finally fell asleep for the night.

Shoes Anyone?!

2009-11-01T13:13:00.001-06:00

I've got a couple of items up on eBay right now. Check them out: Shoe Sale!

Post Secret.

2009-10-21T09:42:00.000-05:00

I still need these books:

Sharp Teeth.

2009-09-10T14:17:00.000-05:00

There are the books and the movies filled with Bill’s and Edward’s: dark mysterious creatures in your school, city or town. It seems to be the latest fad, but I’ve been into it since high school. That particular topic always filled me with fascination. Of course with the common fad, now we’ve got to sift through a bunch of books and figure out which shows are actually worth our while. I hadn’t watched Underworld until a few months ago, right before the third one came out. Alan owns them and they’re pretty awesome.

More to the point, crazy dream the other night consisted of my being in a classroom filled with students and being the third one in the room to finish the multiple choice test. Apparently I got the most right as well as doing it in a very short amount of time. Next thing I know I’m in the back of a black car with dark tinted windows and some older black haired woman said that I had won and as my reward I got to be a vampire.

I woke up just before she bit me.

Needs.

2009-06-21T11:01:00.003-05:00

Ok, I'm obsessed with Rock 'n Roll Bride. I can't help it; the photos are too amazing to ignore. Not only do they have a million and one amazing ideas, but it's just downright good photography.

The author of the site posed a question to all her readers, which I found fascinating: "All you need is..."

While the most creative answer won a prize for filling out the survey itself, Kat still posted an additional 15 of her favorite answers to the question, mine included!

"All you need is red hair, black eyeliner and a whole lot of love."

Rain.

2009-04-17T12:23:00.002-05:00

Bedford, TX 76021
57°F
Current: ThunderstormWind: N at 0 mphHumidity: 95%
Fri72° 58°
Sat77° 52°
Sun72° 49°
Mon74° 52°
San Antonio, TX
70°F
Current: OvercastWind: NE at 9 mphHumidity: 94%
Fri76° 65°
Sat76° 56°
Sun83° 54°
Mon79° 50°
Norman, OK
59°F
Current: Mostly CloudyWind: SE at 10 mphHumidity: 79%
Fri65° 54°
Sat72° 49°
Sun65° 45°
Mon67° 49°

It's only Thursday.

2009-04-09T17:32:00.002-05:00

This is how my conversations go with Geoffrey:

Me: I almost stabbed myself with a paperclip...
Geoffrey: paper clip suicide is common for an office samurai

Lovin' it.

Please Help.

2009-04-08T12:41:00.004-05:00

This is a re-post for my good friend Keegan and her boyfriend, Thomas, down in the Miami/Ft. Lauderdale area.

I'm begging you to do what you can...

This was written by Thomas on sunday evening:
...In case you haven't heard already... I was involved in an attempted
mugging/murder on Friday night/Saturday morning.
It happened in
Downtown Fort Lauderdale, near the IMAX theater.
I have 14 stab wounds
and a slightly punctured lung, but am recovering very quick.
Learned a
really valuable lesion about safety in numbers.
I am supposed to be
getting out of here on Wednesday, but it's not exactly set in stone
once again, I really want to thank everyone for everything and I really do appreciate the love.

>

Some of you have been asking if there's any way you can help out Thomas or me while he's recovering.. and some of you already have, thanks so much!!!

He's too modest to put this on his own page but here's a link to his paypal site if you'd like to help him financially. We're hoping he qualifies for the financial services here at the hospital and for the FL crime victim compensation program. Even if he does that won't come through for 6 - 8 weeks. Any little bit helps out with gas, groceries and bills until that come through.;)

Click HERE to Donate a couple dollars to THOMAS on Pay Pal! hit yes to the myspace external link warning.. paypal is safe, i promise

Neither of us EXPECT people to be able to help with money, it's just that a few friends and family have asked us specifically if we would set something up like this so we did.. His friends Eric, James and Justin are also planning to have a big party with $5 all u can drink beer etc to help raise money.. more info on that when they figure out the date and time

Hopefully when the hospital processes the financial stuff he'll be covered with their program and the FL victim compensation thing.but with getting groceries and paying his rent, electric etc until then even $2 helps. You can always come by his place (he'll be home some time today, Wednesday) with a couple bucks, some pizza, chicken soup, a sangwich or just come give him a hug and keep him company..

thank you thank you thank you

we love you :)

Worthy News.

2009-04-08T08:20:00.001-05:00

You're a 19 year old kid. You're critically wounded, and dying in the jungle in the Ia Drang Valley , 11-14-1965, LZ X-ray, Vietnam . Your infantry unit is outnumbered 8 - 1, and the enemy fire is so intense, from 100 or 200 yards away, that your own Infantry Commander has ordered the MediVac helicopters to stop coming in. You're lying there, listening to the enemy machine guns, and you know you're not getting out. Your family is 1/2 way around the world, 12,000 miles away, and you'll never see them again. As the world starts to fade in and out,
you know this is the day. Then, over the machine gun noise, you faintly hear that sound of a helicopter, and you look up to see an un-armed Huey, but it doesn't seem real, because no Medi-Vac markings are on it. Ed Freeman is coming for you. He's not Medi-Vac, so it's not his job, but he's flying his Huey down into the machine gun fire, after the Medi-Vacs were ordered not to come. He's coming anyway. And he drops it in, and sits there in the machine gun fire, as they load 2 or 3 of you on board. Then he flies you up and out through the gunfire, to the Doctors and Nurses. And, he kept coming back.... 13 more times..... And took about 30 of you and your buddies out, who would never have gotten out.

Medal of Honor Recipient,Ed Freeman,died last Wednesday at the age of 80, in Boise, ID ... I bet you didn't hear about this hero's passing, but we sure were told a whole bunch about some Hip-Hop Coward beating up his "girlfriend"

I want to go so bad!

2009-04-03T08:19:00.008-05:00

Next year it's on!
2009 Car Show

Secret messages.

2009-03-20T12:41:00.001-05:00

Sometimes they just make my day:

"I think you're the most gorgeous redhead I've ever known"

No idea who it's from and it's probably better that way.

Human.

2009-03-12T11:56:00.004-05:00

Seriously. I'm not sure if I love the song for the song, the memories, or both. Maybe it's more than that. It's finding that balance between friends, family, and boyfirends, living in a way that's oportunistic and driving the coolest car I could get my hands on. Whatever it is, the song does nothing but put a smile on my face and make me feel like all the pieces fit.

I'm always making little paper cranes. Gum and candy wrappers, calendar pages, just whatever I have when I have a spare moment. They got left on chairs in classrooms, benches on campus, and desks at work. They accumulate and eventually disappear or people pick them up carrying them into their moments. I was sent the cutest little bamboo-type box by one of my favorite clothing companies and I couldn't figure out what to do with it. Supposedly if you have 1000 of them, you get a wish. So I'm collecting them when I think about it, when I don't give them away and one of these days I'll have a box full. Maybe by then I'll know what I want to wish for.

Work.

2009-03-03T11:54:00.003-06:00

Is stressful.

Sometimes changes don't change anything at all, and really just disguise them under a new mask.

Missed Calls.

2009-02-25T11:52:00.003-06:00

Too bad I can't just go to a park and eat my lunch away from the office. Not that I normally go out for lunch or away from my desk, but at the moment I no longer have the option to do something different. I have seriously considered walking across and down the street to the graveyard filled with benches to eat my lunch there.

I just feel trapped at work lately. It's like my weekend are just a breath away from another work day, and I go home so exhausted I fall asleep at 9:00 or before, which doesn't leave room to do much, when I don't get off until 6:00. I know Alan understands, but it doesn't make things easy and hard to be enjoyable sometimes. We'll get through it.

I've missed two calls in a row from Sam. No option to return a call. No option to try again. A missed call is a missed call. One was on his birthday. The second day that I missed his call I thought I just might break down and cry in the middle of the floor. I am so ready for him to be home.

Astrid.

2009-02-18T12:34:00.003-06:00

Well, I completely smoked my engine, which means I need a completely new one. I cried when I found out. Seriously. My poor poor baby. Thank goodness I have RJ, who is a serious expert at le muscle cars.

Post Secret Hopes.

2009-02-11T12:33:00.002-06:00

Stuck. Texas.

2009-01-26T20:26:00.006-06:00

So I might as well make the best of it eh? But hey, see one of these little beauties on the street on an almost regular basis, yeah I can definitely get used to that. The funny thing, they wave to me. Talk about a little bit of validation. Well it's about time.

I'm still not sure when I'll get little Astrid back, but she's in good hands. Mark jumped in saying he'd help. Now we've just got to get Rebecca's car running and in mine goes. Then it's signing away my savings to Texas plates and getting her inspected. Oh Texas, you and your inspections and your fees.

11 hours.

2009-01-22T12:11:00.003-06:00

That's how much I slept last night. It was definitely needed. I feel so much better today. Yesterday was one of the busiest/craziest service days at work ever. I got home made chocolate chip peanut butter chip cookies, watched maybe 45 minutes of TV and crashed at 8:00.

We moved to the other building at work this week. The one I'm in now is sooo much nicer than the other one. We've got windows all over with sunshine pouring in. It's just Ali's team of ASA's and Cleveland's pod. It's going to be really nice. The kitchen over here is bigger...it's just so wonderful.

It looks like today is going to be a much better day than yesterday. More like a typical work day. Not sure what I'll do this evening. Maybe I'll finally get some pictures uploaded. Relaxing TV and a BSG marathon maybe? :)

Another Post Secret.

2009-01-19T12:23:00.006-06:00

I hate to think it could be someone I know...surely it's not.

Sam,

I know you don't read this...maybe you will someday...but I love you and miss you. Come home safe. We'll go to our bar in the middle of nowhere in my Camaro and have a Corona, just like when I dropped you off at the airport last time. Be so careful. I don't know what I'd do if I never saw you again.

Love,
Ash

sometimes.

2009-01-15T15:29:00.003-06:00

Post Secret entry to think about.
Check it out: postsecret.blogspot.com
Some of them are very interesting.
Sometimes I wonder if some of them are from people I know...
...probably not.
Maybe I should send something in...

So sad.

2009-01-14T15:08:00.004-06:00

My friend wrote this and it just breaks my heart:

2 times so far I went to court and so far both times have been nothing but BS. I know have a 3rd court date in Nebraska.....all to discuss where this court should be held. So I am going to need at least a 4th court date.

I just want to see my son. I'm not asking for much. I'm not taking my son away from his mother. I just want him to have a fair chance to get to know his father.

If you know me, or know both me and Crystal and have seen me take care of my baby or have been around me enough then you can help out.

What I need is this:

I need you to write a paragraph or two or three about what you witnesses when I was taking care of Canton. I need you to characterize me as to weather or not you think I am a fit father to take care of a 16 month old boy.

This is a serious request. I need you to take that letter to your bank or get a hold of me and i'll take you to mine and get it Notarized (that just means they look at your license or ID and verify its actually you signing the letter.
)

Also, put your address and phone on the letters if you would.

Please don't slack on this. I need these within a week or 10 days at the most.

I'm not asking anyone to lie.

Its not fair for my boy to go without me. Its been over 3 months since I've seen him or heard him. I have not even seen him walk before but I bet he is walking and running all over the place now. I have not heard him talk before but I bet he can say words now.

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE don't slack on this. I need your help. All I am asking is that I get to see him once in a while.

So here I am trying to write this thing in any downtime at work I have because he is the most responsible guy I know who got a little bit of bad luck.

Beautiful.

2009-01-12T16:32:00.010-06:00

Look at this one too: Hide and Seak - Imogen Heap